Exes and friends

Some people believe that ex-boyfriends/girlfriends can never be friends after the event. There is just too much baggage to deal with, especially if one side still harbours any feelings or hopes for rekindling the relationship. It also depends on how bad the breakup was.

I think as adults, ex partners can still be friends, have the occasional chat or email exchange, even look each other up. Just like any other friend from college.

For me, I have no difficulty being friends with an ex. I am secure in my own position as a married person, a mother and the past is history, though sometimes a little murky and unclear!

Time, of course, is a great healer. No matter how bad misunderstandings were, over time, people can arrive at a time and place where things can be viewed in a different and calmer perspective, with the wisdom of hindsight and experience.

My sister-in-law just had a visit from an ex-boyfriend, and he stayed over at the family home. She graciously showed him around town and the rest of the family also joined them over dinners and lunches. Hmm......any more embers glowing? Who knows, maybe .........

What do you do when your friend...

.....stops writing, stops replying to your emails, and you have no idea why? Do you feel bewildered, sad, disappointed? Does one continue making the effort to communicate and keep in touch, despite the wall?

I guess many would say it depends how much one values the friendship. If the friendship is to be cherished, just like in any relationship, the one who cares makes the effort, takes the time and is patient.

Coming to the point of time, does the answer "Oh I didn't have time to write you" ring hollow? I have always been able to shoot out a short email just to let people know I remember them no matter how busy I was at work, at home, with the kids. But I guess that is my personality, my standards. Like my husband says, I can't expect everyone to think or act the same way as I do. Besides, that's why we have friends who are so different from ourselves. Heck, even in marriage we end up marrying opposites, which has its own very sticky problems - but that is a topic for another time.

(picture from competetick.com)